Philosophy 101

The Wittgenstein amendment

The philosopher, his voice become violent,
Asked again: "Where's the volume that I lent?"
I answered in pique
"Whereof one can't speak
Thereof one must remain silent."


Socratic wisdom

While browsing the books on the shelf
Among those about health and wealth
One touched my soul
Its contents, in whole,
Were these two words: Know Thyself.


Language and logic

The logic of Professor Ayer
Can distinguish between every layer
Of black and white;
But that's not right-
The truth is often greyer.


Only human

When my studies had reached up to Goethe
I started by looking at 'Werther'
But couldn't find
The strength of mind
To investigate any further


The danger of nihilism

In the writings of Freidrich Nietzsche
Morality doesn't much feature
My classmate soon fell
Quite under his spell
And proved it by killing the teacher


Angst Parisienne

Existentialist Jean-Paul Sartre
Was always a bit of a martyr
To De Beauvoir's moods
And exotic foods:
He preferred escargot as a starter


A Communist manifesto

Karl Marx and Frederick Engels
Between them have covered all angles
Capital, family,
The bourgeois mentality,
And the radical's right to wear sandals


Psychoanalytical debate

When Carl Jung disputed with Freud
Sigmund became quite annoyed
"Your ideas fall flat:
If I spoke to my cat
My time would be better employed!"

When Freud disputed with Jung
Carl replied "Now just hold your tongue
Your ego and id
Don't like what I did
But that's just because I am young."


Cogito ergo sum

In the mind of Rene Descartes
Doubt comprised the main part
But he knew that he was
And this was because
He thought, which at least was a start


Revolutionary prose

The work of Thomas Carlyle
Is set out in a tedious style
His theories of power
Are usually dour
And seldom engender a smile


Unchained

The groom found the works of Rousseau
Hidden in his wife's trousseau
When he taxed her, she
Said "We were born free,
If I want to read them, I will do so!"


Deconstruction

"The author is dead" said Derrida
"The readers' powers are wider"
But there on the spine
Is his name, not mine,
Which ought to be the decider


Paranoia

According to R D Laing
(Whose Sixties went with a bang)
Nobody is mad
The doctors are bad
They all conspire in a gang


Martin Locock, 2004