"If you should ever find yourself
Drawn to classical music or to jazz
You will have to accept this as
Grounds for divorce"
"If you should sprout extra hairs
Or become definitely fat
I'm afraid you'll find that that
Is grounds for divorce"
"If you become a Buddhist
Or start to discover God
These, I think, are hardly odd
Grounds for divorce"
"If rugby ever starts to appeal
And you sulk unless you hear the score
These, and similar, traits are more
Grounds for divorce"
"If you abandon argument
And sulk and whine like a spoiled child
Then this, too, will be filed
As grounds for divorce"
"If you stay forever as you are
Loving me as I love you
Then there will be few
Grounds for divorce"
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